Letting the Good Times Rule
Written by: William Holloway, LCSW, Therapist
During this time of year, Quality Time Institute for Mental Health (QTIMH) wishes you a relaxing and joyful couple of weeks. We hope that this time of year you are spending quality moments with your loved ones while cooking, rejoicing, eating, and creating a warm and peaceful environment around you.
With all the possibilities to create peace, joy, and happiness, QTIMH recognizes that the year behind us, and the year(s) to come, may bring some regrets and sadness, or fear and anxiety, that affect us today. From our family to yours, if you are struggling, here are a few tips to support wellness and rejoice during this restorative time of year.
It is easy to overvalue our scarcity and undervalue our abundance:
There is a truth that exists that is just as consequential to dismiss. During our living experience, we will have a range of emotions from grief, fear, and anger, to joy, love, and calm. We often expect a continuity of happiness while simultaneously fighting and expecting that the less desirable emotions will become extinct. Though less desirable, recognizing that the positive emotions are just as “normal” as the “less desirable” emotions, we can begin the process of struggling less and enjoying the moments.
Then ask:
- What would bring me some desirable emotions?
- What would bring the less desirable emotions?
- What do I put my attention and efforts toward?
A key to the pursuit of positive emotions is recognizing all your emotions, then choosing to pursue the desired!
Taking Stock:
It’s no surprise that news, gossip, and fears of scarcity are so easily accessible for consumption. At a point in time, someone questioned,
“How does influence work?”
This answer was gained through understanding our brain’s requirement for recognizing and prioritizing risk and danger, which stimulates action or inaction. These emotions are life-sustaining and powerful stimulants that could preserve us. However, how many times have we been left with regret, anger, or disappointment because we “determined” based on fear, othering, or remorse?
Consider the questions:
- What moments fill my cup, and what do I value about that?
- Who are the people that bring me joy, and I could call or see?
- What else may bring me joy and fulfillment that I haven’t considered yet?
Slowing down:
Take a moment to recognize the emotion you may feel in those moments after absorbing something that is stimulating. Use breath and remind yourself about what you value for fulfillment (e.g., learning, art, experience, and your goals) — specific action moving you towards what you value.
Taking Action:
Taking action is one of the most valuable but could feel like the most demanding thing to do when faced with the less desirable emotions. There are several reasons for this… to name a few:
Ruminating:
Negative criticisms, judgments, and scenarios play out time and again in the mind.
(Create separation) Try naming that part of your mind, give it a color, shape, texture, and possibly note its motives, then re-orient. After this, each time rumination freezes you in place, recognize it, spend a short time taking notes of why and when it shows up, then re-orient. Don’t mind when it tags along, say “hi” and reorient.
Unavoidable distractions:
Accepting the situation and the emotions that accompany it could feel impossible.
(Perspective) These instances are a good time to remind yourself that we are living, and these times are within the vastness of experience. Fighting the unavoidable only facilitates compounding distress. Reorient towards what could be done in the situation that may facilitate some positive emotion.
Knowing what action to take:
Worry and fear could freeze us in our tracks if we are not careful!
(Take a moment to remind yourself) of your goals and values, and what emotion or action will have you moving in your chosen direction.
Life has a way of surprising us in both desirable and less desirable ways. Join QTIMH in promoting a better way forward in 2025 and beyond. Let us go into 2025 prepared to experience it all, and in pursuit of fulfillment.
Written by: William Holloway, LCSW, Therapist
Quality Time Institute for Mental Health
Website: qualitytimeinstitute.com
Email: Join@qualitytimeinstitute.com
Phone: (858) 348-7373